Grandpa Olaf

My grandpa was a great man. No one is perfect, of course. In his book "Faith When Dreams Die" he said his greatest struggle was against pride. I know what pride feels like inside of me, and I also know what it feels like to be hurt by someone else's pride. It's probably one of the most common struggles in all of humanity...especially for a typical, strong, full-blooded Norwegian farmer! He also struggled with bitterness. When his company went bankrupt the year I was born (I like to think of myself as a good-luck charm), there were a lot of people and organizations that assisted the poor economy in causing this demise. I can't imagine the kind of strength it would take to forgive those who are responsible for the death of your life's work, but I do know it takes a strength greater than any man's. That's why Grandpa was great. His relationship with God was as much a part of his life as breathing. It's what inspired him to be an evangelist and touch the lives of so many people. Almost every time I visit a new church, someone there remembers my grandpa from the days of his travelling evangelism. His joy in the Lord was vibrant and contagious, and he was always bursting at the seams to share a verse, a prayer, or a song.
Another reason my grandpa was so great is that he loved me. I remember my sisters and I going out to visit him, and we all piled into his pickup and drove around the gravel roads to see where the old one-room schoolhouse used to be, the old church where the Revival happened back in the 30's, and the cemetery where a few of our ancestors were already buried. He never failed to remind us grandchildren how precious we were and how much he loved us and was proud of us.
A few weeks ago I took the opportunity to visit him in the Shaunavon nursing home. He'd just had a stroke which left him unable to use his right side or speak clearly. Grandma had gone to heaven two Septembers ago, and Grandpa's friend Vernon had gone just this past December. For a long time now he'd been more than ready to be home with the Lord as well, and now it looked like that might be happening soon.
I'll never forget being able to thank him for the book he wrote, which I'd just finished reading again. It had touched me very deeply, now that I was old enough to appreciate his descriptions of some of the struggles he'd gone through. I'll never forget the faint smile in his eyes when Dad showed him a picture of my brother's newborn son Gabriel. I'll never forget that last hug, holding Grandpa's swollen and rough right hand, and hearing him speak softly into my ear. The words didn't make sense, but I knew by the tone of his voice what he was saying. I told him I loved him.

He passed away around 3:00 this morning. It still hasn't really sunk in yet, but regardless of what I feel, he's up in heaven having the best reunion with his wife and family and friends, and finally being able to fall at the feet of the God he's loved so passionately and hear Him say "Well done, good and faithful servant!"

Crazy Moment

I had a crazy moment awhile back. So there I was, watching some old home videos to satisfy my nostalgia, when I started to really pay attention to little Zachawy. There were so many great moments caught on tape, like when Dad was interviewing him and asked "What's your name?" to which Zac replied, "Two years old!" (An early indicator of his preference for numbers?) And another time Dad was trying to get a nice shot of Zac and I sitting on the couch in our Sunday best. I didn't really feel like hanging out there too long, but when I tried to crawl away, Zac kept his arm around me and kept my eight-month-old body pinned down. He stared straight ahead with a victorious smile, ignoring my attempts to push him away as I whimpered and cried. (An early indicator of how he shows his affection for his sisters?) In another clip he expresses some mild disappointment over not having a baby brother, but we all know it's because he really wanted Mom and Dad to use the name Texit Borntank for the new arrival. (We named her Jannaya instead...who, in time, would come to call her older brother "Gucky.") We also have footage of ten-year-old Zac climbing trees, showing off his forward rolls, jumping off of the church sign, and reading books to us sisters and our young friends.
This next stuff isn't on video...but as a teenager Zac would sometimes get a little silly. He gave me the nickname Niffer; Jannaya was called Bean Bag and Courtney was called Bugs. He taught us (or at least me) to participate in an authentic-looking strangling. He would put a hand around my neck, not squeezing tightly enough to cut off my air, and I would hold onto his hand with both of mine to add some support, and he'd lift me off the ground like that. It totally looked like I was trying to pry his hands off my neck, but it was actually pretty okay to hang like that for a few seconds (just long enough for Mom to get irritated with us).
When we were kids, one of my favorite things to do was watch Zac play Nintendo or Super Nintendo games. I was never any good myself, but watching him play was just as good as watching a movie, far as I was concerned. In high school he designed a computer game called Prisoner Breakout, and I was pretty happy when he asked me to compose a simple tune for one of the levels. He even named that level after me: Niffer.
One of the best moments of Zac caught on tape, though, was when he sang "Early One Morning" at just over three years of age. Aside from the fact that most of the words didn't make sense, he kept the tune pretty well and looked very proud of himself when it was all done.

Back to my crazy moment: the realization that Zac was about to be a father. It was strange then, and it's strange now that there's actually a real human being in the picture. Gabriel Zachary was born last Monday, and even though I haven't seen him in real life, his pictures look so much like baby Zac it's unreal. It's amazing enough to slowly realize that I'm Auntie Kjersti, but it's almost more amazing that Zac is Dad to someone now. My crazy big brother! He'll be a great dad, too...as long as he keeps Texit Borntank out of the list of future baby names.