January 3, 2009

Mom hooked her right arm through my left. I hooked my right arm through Dad's left and regripped my bouquet of silk red roses. From the sanctuary I could sense the charged silence of over a hundred people as the Forrest Gump Suite played softly on the piano, accompanying the flower girls and ring bearer up the aisle. My bridesmaids would already be up front with Bryan and his groomsmen, leaving an open spot for me onstage next to my future husband.

I remember my heart pounding and my breaths becoming shallow, but it was all happening so fast I didn't have time to think I was nervous, or to wonder if everything was going smoothly. Despite yesterday's blizzard, a half-attended rehearsal, and a dozen other recent stresses that had almost done me in, I was about to make my much-dreamed-about walk up the aisle. As we slowly moved toward the sanctuary's double doors, I quickly readjusted my veil before stepping into view in the doorway. We stopped there.

Everyone in the pews turned to face me as the last line of piano music slowed to end the song. I briefly scanned the crowd, recognizing most of the smiling faces; then, like a shy schoolgirl, I turned to face my groom and I'll never forget the sight.

His smile was as wide as I'd ever seen it, but it couldn't convey the joy in his eyes. They were shining -- partly with held-back tears, but mostly from a place deep inside that couldn't find adequate release for its elation. While we were holding each other's gazes and sharing in the moment, I also found myself a spectator to his response, overwhelmed to realize that I was the reason for it. I was Kjersti, his bride, and that was enough to fill his heart to overflowing. My mind raced over all the reasons I love and admire him, the reasons I sometimes feel I don't deserve him; his strength, his kindness, his patience, his sense of humor, his vision, his faith, his selflessness; and I wondered how I could be so blessed to receive this gift of a man who, for some reason, appeared to feel just as strongly about me.

"So Are You to Me" began playing gently from beside the stage. Mom, Dad, and I stepped forward and slowly made our way to the front. My eyes connected with a few close friends along the way, but each time I faced Bryan, it seemed we were the only people in the room. This was our moment, and we were the only ones who knew what was going on between us. The lump in my throat threatened to take over -- this was finally happening, and this was for real! In just a few minutes, Bryan and I would be committed to each other for life. It made me feel like I was part of something far bigger than myself, something universal and powerful and good. Had I needed proof of a God who loves and guides and created us for fellowship, this moment would have been enough.

The whole service was beautiful. Even though I spilled wax on the marriage certificate while lighting the unity candle, Gary assured me that it didn't matter and our marriage would still be legal. The worship music and Linnea's solo rang powerfully in the church and I felt God smile upon us. While saying our vows, I concentrated hard to say each word correctly; as soon as each phrase was out of my mouth, I made sure to let it sink in so I would realize the depth of the commitment I was making. It felt like I was only saying aloud what I'd purposed in my mind a long time ago, back when I first began to realize I loved Bryan. At the end of it all, we were walking arm-in-arm down the aisle while Megan played Michael Buble's "Everything" on the piano. People were standing and clapping and snapping pictures and I was thinking about how happy I was, but also about how much I needed to go to the bathroom. First we were whisked off in my decorated car, Ruby, and driven around town with Jaime honking the horn. We took a few outside pictures, but the minus-twenty weather eventually forced us back inside to finish the photo session.

The reception went by in a blur as well. It turned out to be a true saying, that a bride and groom never get to eat their own cake! Still, I wouldn't have changed a thing. The roast beef dinner was excellent, my young cousins turned out to be expert hula-hoopers (which forced many a long kiss from Bryan and I), and both Zac and Jaime gave toasts that brought tears to my eyes. The emcees did a terrific job keeping things smooth and entertaining, and when the program was done, Bryan and I had a chance to visit with a large number of our guests before they left. Finally it was our turn to leave. We made the U.S. border about fifteen minutes before it closed, and our honeymoon began.

And that's where I'll end this blog!