Allow me to get sappy for a few minutes. Actually, this is MY blog! I can write whatever I want, and there's something about being stranded in a blizzard that makes me not care if people want to gag at my words.

So this weekend, Bryan and I headed down to Moose Jaw. We had booked a night at the spa for our first anniversary celebration (belated by a few weeks). Even though the weather forecast called for bad roads and a potential winter storm, we were stubborn and determined. We are the kind of people who can't handle the thought that our plans will have to change, especially in regards to something we are looking forward to. So we set out on Saturday morning and battled an inconvenient, but not impossible, path down to Moose Jaw. We had a wonderful time, and it was just nice to have a change of scenery for a little bit.

Then we woke up on Sunday morning and could barely see outside for all the snow blowing angrily around outside. We soon learned that all roads outside of Moose Jaw are closed, and that the snow is expected to keep coming all day long. We checked out of our hotel, plowed our way to a gas station to gas up and pump up our leaky tire (managing to get stuck twice), then ended up at McDonald's. If it weren't for this laptop, some newspapers, and word/number puzzle papers, we'd be going stir-crazy right now. We're pretty much just waiting to see if we can drive to Saskatoon later today, or if we should check into a motel tonight.

Anyway, the reason I prefaced this blog with a "sappy" warning is because this is one of those times where I look at Bryan and realize how blessed I am to have him in my life. He's pretty good at rolling with the punches...something I struggle with from time to time. I'm sitting across from him at our booth, typing this blog secretly, and he's looking down at one of the newspapers. I just want to squeeze him. It sounds cliche, but I can honestly say that no matter where I am, if Bryan's there with me, I feel happy. Sure, there's an underlying stress about when we'll be able to get home, but I'm content overall and I know that things will work out.

Something we've learned from these past two Januaries is this: whenever we have to drive anywhere to do something romantic (like, say, get married or go on a special trip), there will be a blizzard. Sorry, people of Saskatchewan! This weather is probably our fault!

The Coffee House

I recently received an email from Wendy, notifying me that the Coffee House in Frontier has been sold.

My instant reaction was a flooding of fond memories, followed by a sinking feeling that it was the end of an era. The Coffee House's sale, and imminent conversion into a rental property, got me to thinking of all the uniqueness that will have to be undone. First of all, the makeshift skateboard park on the cracked concrete driveway will have to go. Second of all, the restaurant-style booths in the living room, and the concession counter in the kitchen, will most likely have to be removed. And I'm sure there are countless dents in the walls, broken cupboard doors, and food stains everywhere that will have to be dealt with. After all, almost every teenager within a sixty-mile radius probably graced the place with their presence at least once, and most of them left a mark in one way or another.

The very first "Coffee House" was actually a one-time event in the church basement. Emily had a vision for a place where the youth of Frontier and area could hang out, without the formal Christian programming of a youth group, so that people who weren't comfortable with Bible studies wouldn't feel awkward about coming. It would be come-and-go, just a place with games and food and non-alcoholic drinks and music...an alternative to Friday night parties, and perhaps a place where a few seeds could be scattered by forming new friendships or talking with one of the adult supervisors. This one-time event went over very well, with a great turn-out. I remember it, but unfortunately a little vaguely -- my stomach was upset from drinking too much pop and having too much candy, so I ended up sitting at a table for awhile, trying to wait out the nausea! I guess that shows I'd had a great time up until then, anyway.

The exact timeline of the following events is unclear to me, but I know that the church's prayers were behind this vision...which is no surprise, as I was blessed to grow up in a church that celebrates all age groups, including the teenagers who sometimes giggled too loudly in the back of the church, and who played rock-style worship sets on the occasional Sunday morning, and who put on skits for the church that involved loud belching into a microphone. Anyway, at some point, Don and Donna Hernberg purchased some land beside their home, and this land contained a small old red-and-white house that had previously been occupied by a very sweet elderly woman who had to move into a long-term care facility. The home was donated (am I right, Wendy?) to the Bethel Church youth group, and that's where a lot of fun began!

I learned a lot about stripping paint from the outside of a house, and painting both the inside and outside of a house. The youth, and many adults, rolled up their sleeves and turned the little old house into a vibrant, brightly-coloured, multi-purpose recreation facility complete with video game systems, a pool table, fuseball, a candy and pop concession (which also included some fancy coffee drinks, Italian sodas, and homemade treats from time to time), and a VCR and TV area upstairs (only PG movies approved). There were tons of board games, card games, a lovely mishmash of sofas and chairs, and a bunch of cd's (who can forget the W's? "You are the devil, and the devil is bad...") for the stereo system. I think almost everything was donated by people in the church and community, although we also received pop cans from Honey Bee, which we would sort and recycle, using the money to keep things running smoothly. Oh yeah, and when I said brightly-coloured, I meant it. The ceilings were yellow-and-red-checkered. The walls were purple, with a large VW bug painted on one wall by Megan and Johanna (that was a fun time...they both got a little hyper off the fumes, and I don't just mean paint fumes. Someone must've given Johanna oranges). And the upstairs was painted all white, with a sky-blue ceiling full of white, fluffy clouds, and the painted message "See you there!" in reference to heaven. As well, there was a Twister board painted on the floor. It's interesting how many splinters you can manage to get all over your hands and feet when you play it that way. Oh yeah...and there was that one window upstairs that some teenagers liked to sneak out of so they could sit on the roof and be rebellious. (Not me, of course...I was a perfect child.)

The Coffee House, in my day, was usually open on Tuesday, Friday, and Saturday nights. There were many wonderful adults in the church who took turns supervising on these nights, and I am one of many grateful people who grew up and recognized what a thoughtful gift of time they all gave us. I hope they all know that they were, in some way, influential in keeping Frontier's teenage night-life alternative alive and healthy. It kept boredom (a common reason that many youth get into the party life) at bay, and brought a lot of non-churched people into the midst of people who could show them that life in Christ doesn't have to make you stuffy. Who knows how many seeds were planted there? I certainly remember hearing accounts of some deep conversations that went on as a result of friendships being forged there, and some supervising adults who took the time to answer the serious questions that some kids brought forth. It was a wonderful mission field.

The face of the Coffee House changed little-by-little as time went on. Sometimes we would paint messages and pictures on the windows according to the season. We also repainted the whole inside at one point, as crazy bright colours were falling out of style, and classy colours were coming in. The exterior went from red-and-white to green-and-white, but I can't remember at what point that happened. Also, sometime after my age group had graduated and left town, half of the living room was converted into a restaurant-style room, with tables and booths made out of wood. Once when I was visiting, I remember thinking that it was different, but that it looked really good. (And on a personal note, my husband and his groomsmen had some pictures taken there before our wedding, and it was a nice setting!)

My first impression when I think back on Coffee House memories can be summed up in one word: LOUD. There was almost always blaring music, sugar and caffeine-hyped teenagers shouting/flirting/roughhousing, and video games screaming from the games room. Sometimes they even had local bands put on concerts in there, like 95 Pounds of Stupid (later called Straight Edge) and the Andrew/Brooks/Brodie band (they had a name, but it's slipped my mind I guess). The second word that comes to mind is HAPPY. The supervisors were there to keep things from getting out-of-hand or inappropriate, but all of them seemed to have their patience bar set on "teenager". People were free to be rambunctious and somewhat crazy. After all, this was their place to party, and they were going to party! Again, I'm so thankful for the supervisors who must've often gone home with headaches because they recognized the need for teenagers to have a safe outlet. At one point in time, the Coffee House was actually called "My Place." That name never really stuck, but it was true all the same...anyone who went there was free to be themselves and have a good, loud time.

I understand that the popularity of the Coffee House has waned since those earlier years. However, I also understand that there is enough interest to look into purchasing another building in Frontier to carry on the vision. I hope and pray that this happens! Even if there is less of a crowd, it's still a crowd of individuals who will benefit from having a place to let loose without alcohol, and maybe to keep planting seeds in people's minds and hearts about the faith in Christ that backs up the Coffee House.

Some other random memories that just came to me: the night Zac set a record by drinking thirteen Barq's Root Beers...the times that Perry and Carrie were supervising, and we caught them making eyes at each other...the times that people rode down the stairs on sofa cushions and crashed into the cupboards at the bottom...the times that people turned off the bathroom light so that whoever was on the toilet was stranded in the dark...the time we had a karaoke night...so many good times! Long live the Coffee House!

My Biggest Dream

One of my biggest dreams has always been to be a full-time, stay-at-home mom.



I'm not even sure who reads my blog anymore...if you're someone who knows me, you understand what I mean. If you don't understand me, PLEASE don't assume that I think stay-at-home moms are superior to moms who have an outside career. I think there are too many people who are eager to draw battle lines between the two, as if there hasn't been proof that both approaches to life can produce very healthy, happy children (and mothers and fathers). Also, PLEASE don't assume that I'm selling myself short, or that I'm unambitious, or that I am somehow inferior to career-driven women.



With that out of the way, I'll continue on...

Everyone is born with a dream, and although most of us might claim to be open-minded and non-judgmental, I've received a few responses to my goal that display how some people really do think it's an inferior desire. It puts me on the defensive, but I'll try not to let my emotions get in the way of stating my case here (even though I hope those people understand what it's like to get laughed at for sharing THEIR heart with others...well, they probably have to some degree. People can be so ignorantly cruel to each other).

Anyway, NOW I'll continue on...

If being a stay-at-home mom is so unambitious, why don't more people want to do it? Surely there are enough lazy people in the world who wouldn't mind having a job where you sit in your house all day, watching soaps in baggy sweatpants, occasionally looking in on a peacefully napping baby...
WRONG!!
I'm not a mom yet, but I can't tell you how impressed I am with those people -- stay-at-home parents and day-care workers -- who manage these precious little people in their relatively helpless states, while still balancing household projects and any little room they may have for outside interests (if they're not too tired).

That reminds me...if being a stay-at-home mom is so easy to look down on, why don't more people look down on daycare workers? Is it because they make money at it? So...making money at something automatically gives it more worth in society's eyes, is that it? I guess so. I don't really need to get into how shallow and ignorant that is. Unfortunately, I think a lot of people think that way, whether or not they are willing to admit it in so many words.

Like any career goal, planning to be a stay-at-home mom involves preparation and sacrifice. It's not like you just step out of the work force and fall into a nice little cushion. For example, think of the finances. You will be relying on one income (most likely), so EVERYTHING you're making up until then must be planned out. Bryan and I are putting off the purchase of a house for a few reasons, and one of them is to save up at LEAST a 10% down payment (the higher the better), because we are planning on his income being the sole measure by which we mortgage a house. If we depended on both of our incomes, there is no way I could stay at home with the kids. And although it doesn't personally matter much to me and Bryan, we will be giving up the opportunity to buy a nicer house, brand-new vehicles, and go on regular overseas holidays so that we can afford for me to stay home once we have kids. And although this particular, unpaid career choice doesn't require any formal education, I plan on reading and learning as much as possible from other stay-at-home moms because I KNOW that what I'll be doing will be incredibly hard and stressful sometimes (although infinitely rewarding), and I don't want to be unprepared.

And please don't assume that I am afraid of outside work. I have a job that challenges me very much, but I also take great pride in it. When I am a stay-at-home mom, I will be battling a feeling of being cut off from the working world, the loss of relationships from where I'm working now, and probably a lot of insanity from multitasking for the majority of the day, as opposed to being surrounded by co-workers with whom I can have intelligent conversations, and from whom I can walk away if I need some quiet time. And I DO plan on finding part-time work once the kids are all in school, since I won't be needed in the home for most of those days. So no, I'm not planning to be a stay-at-home mom to run away from the working world. I know I'll miss that world in many ways. It's another small sacrifice to make.

Now that I've stated my defense against some stereotypes I've met and heard about, let me share a few positive aspects that drive my dream:

-It's always been in my heart, just like a lot of people always know they want to be a doctor, a singer, a teacher, or a world traveller someday. You might not know exactly how the dream got planted there, but it's been a part of you for as long as you can remember.

-I can't imagine anything more rewarding than spending the majority of your days with these little people whom God has entrusted to your care, and experiencing all of their firsts with them.

-Being a catalyst to the learning experiences of your own children (creating opportunities for creativity, problem-solving, relationship-building, and physical challenges) would be the focus of your days...imagine how amazing that would be!

-Writing is a hobby of mine. I would have endless material from people and experiences that I would feel passionate about preserving in words that might mean something to someone else one day.

-Most stay-at-home moms that I've talked to are very satisfied with their decision, and have eagerly encouraged me to follow through with my plan to do the same.

Something else I want to mention is how thankful I am to have a husband who encourages and supports this plan. When I first told him that this was what I wanted, he didn't immediately stress about the financial burden it would place on him...he was excited about it and we are partnering together to make sure it happens.

So there you have it, in a nutshell: my defense against those who look down on my dream, and my reasons for having it.