Chinese Food

My mom and my sister, Courtney*, were up visiting me this weekend. While I was at work on Saturday evening and they were bumming around my house, the phone rang. Courtney picked it up and here's how the conversation went:
"Hello?"
"Um, harro, dida you owda some-a Chinese food?"
"Uhh...no, I don't think so."
"Oh, because-a, you -- you cawwed and you make-a an owda fo Chinese food today."
"No, we didn't...but I'll go check with the guys downstairs."
At this point, Courtney sets the receiver on the floor and runs downstairs to where Jared and Andrew are sitting blissfully in their living room, not knowing that some strange teenage girl is about to bewilder them with a most random question.
"Uh, did you guys order any Chinese food?" Courtney asks.
After probably passing a look of confusion between one another, the boys say no, and Courtney runs back upstairs to the phone.
"Um, no, they didn't order any Chinese food either."
There is a loud laugh. "You're such a retard!"
Courtney's heart breaks in two at the stranger's insult.**
The stranger goes on. "Don't you even know who this is?"
"No."
"It's your old roommate, you idiot!"
"Uh...Megan?"
The laughter is deafening. Courtney is hopelessly lost.
"It's Britt!" the stranger finally confesses.
"Oh..." says Courtney. "This is Courtney."
At which point it is Britt's turn to be sheepish...actually, no. She laughs raucously but is probably turning all shades of red. She and Courtney share a good laugh, and Courtney takes the message that I, Retard, am to call Britt when I get home.

*Names not changed because then this story would be pointless.
**No hearts were actually broken in the making of this story.