Last week I was at work, as per usual, when the sweet lady (who calls me a lovely pussy) was being a lot weaker than normal. It took two of us to get her out of bed and into her wheelchair, and at breakfast I had to spoonfeed her cause she could barely lift her head. Being she's 95 and with a DNR of the highest order, we decided not to call the hospital, but instead let her lay down and rest. We were just going to see what would happen.
I was doing dishes when my coworker came in and told me quietly to sit with Ruth for a while. I came into her room where she was convulsing; her face was grey and sunken, her lips were blue, and her eyes were squeezed shut. I can't even describe it. Here's this lady I've come to love and adore so much, barely conscious and suffering greatly. I sat with her for awhile and read some Psalms, some Revelations that described the New Jerusalem, and sang Amazing Grace. She was squeezing my hand so tightly, you'd have thought it was her only link to life. She was trying to talk, trying to pray...she's been known to speak in tongues, so I murmured "Talk to God, Ruth, talk to God." And she said, "Yes, yes..."
Seeing her like that reminded me of when Johanna and I were really young. We found a tiny, abandoned kitten and tried to nurse it back to health with some milk. But all we could do was watch it shudder and slowly fade away until it was gone. It was the same sensation here with Ruth...as if death had a presence or something. Maybe there was some spiritual warfare going on, I don't know. It was strange, and my emotions were so mixed....I was crying for her pain and the fear of losing her, but at the same time I realized that, if she passed on, I would have the priviledge of seeing her off to her eternity with the Christ she has served so lovingly.
Finally, they decided to call an ambulance. Ruth wasn't going to just pass peacefully in her home; she was either going to suffer till death or slowly and painfully recover without medical assistance. So the ambulance came for her, and on her way out she apparently revived enough to lovingly stroke the paramedics' cheeks and say nice things to them (and apparently they were hot young men, so that provided some much-needed comic relief to the staff!)
Long story short, they found a lungful of fluid and a bladder infection had been ravaging her, but they managed to remedy her enough that she could return home. Seeing her innocent, smiling face continues to be a huge blessing. She's the kind of person you want to squeeze every time you see her. I've never known anyone so affectionate...just this morning I went in to wake her from her nap so I could help her pee before lunch. The second I stepped into her room I said "It smells good in here, Ruth!" Without skipping a beat, she said, "Yes it does, dear. And I love you."
