Sensing Him

Just when I start to think that I'm a fairly mature Christian, I'm hit with a revelation that humbles me and reminds me that the beginning isn't too far back. (I kind of hate being humbled, but I love how it shows that God is so intimately involved in my life and growth.) Anyway, what brought this on was a regular evening not too long ago. I was getting ready for bed, stressed out about a bunch of minor life details that had all piled up within a short space of time, which stressed me out that I wouldn't be able to turn off my brain and get a desperately-needed good night's sleep. In the midst of my chaotic thoughts and high blood pressure, a sense of peace suddenly flooded me and blanketed all my worries under a thick, warm knowledge that everything was going to be alright. My worries tried to kick it away, but it was too strong, and I gratefully succumbed to the reminder that God loves me and will take care of me. It was the strongest I'd felt God's presence in a long time, and I'd wanted to feel Him for so long, and even though I was as content as could be, I couldn't help but ask why He hadn't come for me sooner. I'd been crying out to Him for awhile.
Right away I remembered a Christmas several years back when my cousin Jazlyn was just a baby. As is true for all infants, she was getting past the stage where every cry is a physical need being expressed, so when she would wake up from a nap in her crib and start wailing, her parents (knowing she'd recently eaten and been changed) wouldn't come for her. At least, not right away. Her cries were for attention, for a reassurance that Mom and Dad were still there for her and taking care of her. She needed to learn that, just because she couldn't see, feel, or hear them, that didn't mean they weren't there anymore. Their love for her was strong enough to not spoil her by keeping her dependent on a physical sense of their presence.
Unlike earthly parents, God could let us sense Him all the time if He so chose. He will never live far away or pass away or have personal problems that strain His relationship with us...but if we could always sense Him close by, how would we learn to be strong in our minds? We need to be forced to exercise our knowledge of the truth, cause if we always felt the truth in our hearts, our minds would be weak spiritually. There would be no need to resist the lies of the evil one, cause we'd never feel exposed. How then would be learn to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength? His Word and His people are there to remind us of His love when we can't feel it...then when we do feel it, it's that much more beautiful because it has a solid root in every aspect of our awareness.