It Never Gets Old

The other day I was a bingo-caller at work. Six of the ladies were sitting around the kitchen table, and I was using the little plastic bingo cage, announcing the lettered numbers as they came rolling out. Unfortunately we don't have any prizes to give away to the winners, so often the ladies come up with their own ideas of what they would like to receive. One week somebody won my car (which I "gratefully relinquished"), but usually they win a nice car or a house or a boat or a ski-doo. On this particular day, however, when we were just about to start the last round, I asked what the big prize for this final game would be. Without missing a beat (and actually interrupting my sentence), the lady right across from me said, "A man." After Sheila won, the other ladies said it was time to hit the streets and start looking for her prize. (Sounds a lot like the 8th Street Cruise to me.) Later that afternoon, they were watching an old musical, and one of the staff members asked what was on. One lady, who is usually quite proper, said, "All I know is there are a lot of good-looking men in it!"
Isn't it comforting to know that this form of excitement never gets old, even if we do?
Oh yeah, and something else...Millie was randomly giving me some relationship advice as we folded towels one evening. She said that the best way to get a man I want is to chase him down with my car. Sounds like good advice to me...ladies, start your engines!

Bittersweet

I got my first ticket today. Yeah, I parked in a two-hour zone all day long, but I was running late and didn't really care where my car ended up. So while I'm a little miffed about the whole situation, it kind of reminds me of getting my first foul in basketball. It was almost the end of my first season playing, and after completely blocking an opponent's shot, one of my team members actually stood up and cheered for me. Yay for Kjersti finally being aggressive!
I guess parking in the wrong zone doesn't really count as aggressive, so really, the stories aren't related at all. Unless you count the fact that I broke the law. Yeah, I broke the law. Yay for Kjersti finally being aggressive!

Late-Night Rantings

The setup: Being suddenly asked to do two overnight shifts at work...overtired and undernourished, you approach each night differently: the first with a tall, skinny aluminum can in your hand, the second without. The following are entries I wrote in my workbook during my breaks each night:
Tuesday Night:
I was expecting a terrible taste, for so it had been reported to me by friends who'd long-since grown accustomed to the drink and its effects. Imagine my delight when, not only did it taste fine (a little strong and sharp), but upon my first swallow a tingle ran through my body. Already I was more awake! I swallowed some more, realizing that I truly was going to make it through the night.
Funny thing, however...each sip seemed to dissolve in my tongue and cheeks, leaving very little to actually swallow.
And about halfway through the can, my heart began to hurt. Coincidence? I think so. But I realized that I would probably never be as sweet as some guys I know who have been known to go over the daily recommended dosage (500 mL) in twelve hours. Besides, the last thing the residents need is some bouncy, hyper chick waking them up with her dance steps echoing throughout the house.
Still half a can to go. I'd better ration what's left...I need to stay awake and efficient for at least six and a half more hours.
Sometimes, the way the cat meows at me makes me nervous. Like she knows or sees something I don't.
If there are any sudden, loud noises tonight, I'm fairly certain I'll suffer some kind of serious shock. *
Okay, it's 4:30 and the Red Bull has worn off. I'm ready to crash, even though my heart rate is still elevated.

*Later that night, while sweeping outside one resident's door, she let out the loudest, snarliest, suddenest cat-like noise I'd ever heard. Pretty sure I almost fell against the wall and couldn't breathe for a second.

Wednesday Night:
There once was a squirrel in a tree
who threw all his acorns at me.
I threw them all back, hit his head with a smack;
now no one's as nutty as he.

The driver was making me fume,
so I shouted at him words of doom.
Without saying a word,
he flipped me the bird
and took off with a triumphant zoom.

The chickens were clucking away,
not knowing that this was the day.
They each lost their head,
every last one was dead,
and so never again would they play.

A limerick is fun late at night
when your mind is no longer too bright.
They're dumb little rhymes,
but they sure pass the time
till your second wind finally takes flight.

And now it is time I should go--
for as they say, "on with the show".
I must mop the floor-
oh, what a great bore!
At least I'm not shovelling snow.

There you have it...late night brilliance. May you be inspired.

Update on my Professional Life

So.........I GOT MY DREAM JOB!!!! Needless to say, I'm fairly excited. SAI (Saskatchewan Alternative Initiatives) called me yesterday and offered a Monday-Thursday job in which I'll be hanging out with four mentally-challenged people at different times, doing things like going for walks, swimming, helping them work out at the leisure centre, helping them at their jobs (shredding paper, that sort of thing), hanging out at the mall...so, oh my goodness, this is exactly what I wanted! The nice thing is it leaves Fridays open so I can work casual at Cosmo (which is another place that recently hired me...there, I'd be helping mentally-challenged people develop job skills for Sarcan, groundskeeping, making golf clubs, etc.) And then I can work every other weekend at Valhalla (where I'm currently working) until they find someone else to completely replace me. This means I'm still working Christmas, but I've long since come to terms with that...in fact, I think it'll be good to pull myself back from my traditions for one year, and learn to appreciate Christmas for its true meaning.
As of December 12, my professional life will be completely different. I'll miss seeing my Valhalla ladies every day, but I'm looking forward to meeting these new people I'll be working with...one of them is my cousin!
In conclusion, God's timing is always perfect. This is such an amazing gift from Him!

So I'm on a Mountaintop Right Now...

We probably all thought life would get easier as we grew up. We'd be wiser, richer, better-looking, and braver. Pretty sure that two steps out of high school dashed all hopes of being suave, sophisticated, and sweet. But it's neat to see how God changes our hopes and expectations, and how they turn out to be even better than what we'd originally had our minds set on. I'm just thinking in my life how I used to be so shy I wouldn't even respond when someone said hi to me...I used to think I'd be happily dating or married by now, settled in a money-making writing career with a reliable car and beautiful house. And that dream wasn't just as a child. I pretty much had that one right up until a year ago! Anyway, my point is...I didn't automatically lose my shyness when I grew up. None of my white picket-fence dreams have come true, and in fact, sometimes it seems like God isn't just ignoring my dreams...He's squeezing the life out of me and letting me fall into pits so deep I can't see the light above. But somehow, I've come to realize that this "life-to-the-fullest" means more to me than any "dream-come-true" life ever could. Because of God's (sometimes tough) unconditional love and supernatural patience, my goals and desires have changed dramatically and I am more at peace with myself than I ever imagined possible. Life is far more intense, exciting, painstaking, and rewarding than my adolescent brain could have ever dreamed, and it's all to God's glory. His lessons are hard, but in the end there is so much change deep inside that we can't help but rejoice and be glad. What an incredible God! He knows us so well and knows exactly what we need.
This ramble came about because of a passage in Psalm 66:10-12, 20:
"For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver. You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs. You let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance...Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!"

Defeated

Number one, it was super-sweet to hang out with Challis last night. Apparently we weren't talking for quite a while, but whatever our differences, they were laid to rest by talking a quick jaunt up and down eighth street together after attending Aubree's music theatre and making coffee cup towers at Starbucks (aka Honolulu).
Number two...well, that's me. I'm number two. While I still maintain that the time restriction was the only factor keeping me from success, today's cookie-eating competition proved that Nick can eat more cookies than me. He ate seven...I ate a lowly four. But before the collective groan of disappointment from my adoring fan base causes an earthquake, let me say this: the cookies were actually made with cake mix and were, therefore, massive saliva-robbers. I wouldn't say the huge chunks I swallowed were even given a chance to become boli before they made the long, painful trip down my esophagus. To be honest, if Ben hadn't given me that glass of water after that history-making minute, I think I would've lost my cookies all over the table. Not even joking.
And here's something to be really proud of. Flashes of light told me that this graceful event was captured for future viewing...maybe I'll have to find that camera and accidentally drop it into the river.

I Am a Fool

For the last two days I've been obsessed with the idea of buying myself a hermit crab. Well, first I wanted a newt. Lisa, my coworker, was describing her son's friend's newt, and I found myself dying to hold and take care of one. Then, upon the realization that this would be insanely expensive (12o dollars with all the other stuff), I decided to downgrade to a hermit crab. Travis Johnston has/had one, and it was the coolest, easiest thing to not kill. So I drove all the way across the city after work, in rush hour traffic, in the sloppy snowfall, with a fan belt that's about to blow apart, just assuming that I could waltz into the Confederate Mall Petland and find the whole hermit crab care set for less than 50 bucks. I'll bet no one else saw this coming...yeah, that's right...it was still too expensive. 70 bucks is a lot, considering both my car and my computer need major fixes. On top of that, a 5-gallon tank (minimum size suggested) would completely upset the feng shui in my room (aka, I don't have the space). So now I'm blogging, petless and ten steps closer to my car blowing up around me. It was a comletely nonproductive day. But I bought myself a small poutine, and that made everything better.