Not-So-Distant Wedding Bells!

Wow...it's less than a week till my wedding, and it's hard to pin down any one thought that's racing through my head. I'll never be in this phase of life again; it goes from the large picture of never being single again, to the smaller picture of never being engaged again, to the even smaller picture of never being a week away from my wedding ever again. Being someone who thinks about everything, and who feels intensely about almost everything she thinks about, I've been a little overwhelmed and trying to keep my head above water. Thankfully, the wedding details themselves are falling into place so well (thanks to SO MANY friends and family members who are helping us out), so it isn't the planning that's laying heavily on my mind. It's learning not to worry about things beyond my control; weather, potential vehicle problems, potential health problems, potential mistakes and awkward moments and smeared makeup and spilled food. As I've been reminding myself, the only thing that really matters is walking away with my new husband and sharing that moment with whoever is able to make it. Sometimes, focusing on that thought is the only thing that puts my mind at ease and brings my excitement back. And then it hits me...Bryan's going to become my husband this weekend! We've been together for a little over two years, which seems short to some and long to some and average to some...for us, it was more than long enough to know that we wanted to be together for life. In that sense, this day has been a long time coming. Yes, I'm aware that marriage sometimes means fighting to keep the romance alive and going through tough times as a couple that will test what we're made of. We're aware of that and are as prepared as we can be, and will continue to be proactive. We're not entering this lightly. In fact, sometimes I'm a little scared for Bryan...knowing how crazy I can get, I wonder if he knows what he's getting into! But he's seen that side of me and still gives me that smile, so I guess he still likes me...anyway, off-track.

With the full knowledge that this is a big step and a brave commitment, there is also the full knowledge that he makes me happier than I could've hoped for, and now I'll always have him! We'll both have some separate parts of our lives, of course, but from now on we'll come home to the same house at the end of the day. We won't have to part ways when it's late. We'll get to experience each other in everyday life, in rushed mornings and laundry days and lazy movie afternoons and hosting parties and sharing the sink to brush our teeth before bed. I'll tell him a funny pun every day, and he'll try to hide his amusement like he does now. We'll be each other's support when we're stressed about work. We'll establish our own family unit and make new holiday traditions and weekly routines, work on projects together and focus on exercising occasionally. He'll keep beating me at checkers and I'll keep beating him with his boxing gloves.

I can't believe how little time is left before we become Bryan and Kjersti Aicken! There's something beautiful about this time of anticipation. It's on a much larger scale than when I, as a kid, had to wait until Saturday to eat Lucky Charms instead of Cheerios for breakfast, but it evokes the same types of feelings; impatience, excitement, irritation, giddiness. The anticipation slowly carves out a big empty spot which begs for the object of its desire. And when Saturday finally comes, the prize will be all the more wonderful because the unattainable will be fully mine, finally pouring into that empty space with abandon! Just six more days till our wedding, till we commit to our friendship for life...bring it on!